Questions
by Forlay
Summary: Rachel has some questions about her relationship with Tobias.


#  Questions

##  By: Forlay

I heard a fluttering at my window. I quickly locked my door and went to open it. "Hey, Tobias," I whispered.   
Hey, Rachel. You wanted to see me? >   
"Um, yeah. Uh, I need to talk to you." Man, this was going to be hard to say.   
He hopped over to my desk. What? >   
I slowly walked to the desk and sat down in the chair, facing him. I opened my mouth to say it, but couldn't. I turned away from him and faced the mirror.   
Rachel? What is it? > He hopped over so he was looking at me in the mirror.   
I took a deep breath. "Tobias, I think we need to back off on this relationship, or whatever it is we have."   
Tobias's hawk face snapped to look directly at me. What?! >   
I turned to face him, "Tobias, I don't want to sound like a soap opera, but you've become way too over protective. You're not the Tobias I know and, well, at the risk of sounding cliché, love."   
Rachel, it's kinda hard to stop seeing each other. We kinda fight together every day. >   
I sighed. Boys really are thick. "Tobias, you know what I mean. You're constantly cheating so you get to go on dangerous missions with me, constatly objecting whenever I volunteer to do something dangerous. I'm sick of it. I need to be free to be myself, you know?"   
But, Rachel... > he trailed off. Without another word, he lept to my window, and flew out into the night.   
The next morning, I felt horrible. But I still had to go to school. Mom was convinced I was just having 'boy problems' or something, not enough to get out of school. She was right, I was having boy problems. Sure, my boy happened to be a bird, but it was close enough.   
"Hey, Rachel!" Cassie said brightly as I opened my locker before first hour.   
"Hi," I grunted.   
"What's wrong?" she asked.   
I grabbed my english book and slammed the locker shut, "Nothing. Just didn't sleep to well last night."   
Cassie put her hand on my arm. "Rachel, I'm your best friend. I know when you're lying." The warning bell rang, "I've got to get to class. But talk to me at lunch, okay?"   
"Sure. Fine. Whatever."   
I drifted through the morning. Not really caring about what the teachers were saying. I kept having arguments with myself.   
Why _ did you break up with him?!_   
_He was smothering me!_   
_Caring about you constitutes as smothering?_   
_ Yes._   
At lunch, Cassie met me by the cafeteria doors. She wouldn't let me go in, instead she led me out to the playground behind the school.   
"Alright, Rachel. Spill it."   
I hesitated for a moment. I really didn't want to talk about it with anybody, not even Cassie. But she kept looking at me with this way she has that makes you want to tell her everything you know. So I told her everything that'd happened. From when I first started getting annoyed, to last nights discussion with Tobias.   
"You dumped him?!" Cassie asked when I was finished. I nodded my head mutely. "Well, no wonder he wouldn't talk to me this morning when I saw him out hunting. He must be awfully depressed."   
I was concerned for a moment, but got past it quickly. I hoped Cassie hadn't noticed. "He'll be fine. Tobias has always gotten past things like this before."   
"But he's always had you to talk to before, he doesn't have that option this time."   
I shrugged, "He'll either find someone else to talk to, or sort it out himself."   
Cassie looked like she was about to say something, but was interupted by the bell signaling lunch was over. "I suppose this is just between you and me?"   
I looked at her hopefully, "Please?"   
"It goes against my better judgement, but okay." We started walking back into the building. We both had history next. As we stopped at my locker to pick up my book she said, "Oh! I was supposed to tell you, there's a meeting at my place after school."   
I moaned, "This is a bad day to have a mission."   
"Tell me about it. I heard from Jake that we get a major project from Paloma."   
"Nooooooo!" I moaned. "I do not need a history project on top of everything else that's happening!"   
We sat through history. We had to do some big research project. Yick. Not my favorite thing to do. The rest of my classes for the day were much of the same. Hand in homework, listen to the teacher drone on and on about the new assignment, get the new assignment, go to next class. Finally, the day was over.   
Hey, Rachel. >   
I looked up, squinting my eyes against the bright sunlight, trying to see who had called me. It couldn't have been Tobias, could it?   
No, it ain't your bird boy. It's Marco. Hurry up and morph. We're in charge of finding Tobias. He was supposed to meet Jake here before last hour, but never showed. >   
I nodded slightly and jogged into the small patch of woods near the school where we often go to morph after school. A few minutes later, I soared above the trees as a bald eagle.   
I scanned the sky for Marco in his osprey morph, and found him quickly. Why was Tobias going to meet Jake out here before last hour? Don't tell me _Jake_ was going to skip last hour? >   
Marco laughed in my head, Yep. For all his army general talk, he was willing to get in trouble to talk to bird boy. But, he never showed. Jake's been looking for him, and enlisted us to help in the search. Ax is looking for him on foot, in case something happened to him. >   
I felt my heart jump into my throat at that suggestion, but quickly surpressed the feeling. Tobias wasn't anything to me anymore. Just a friend and fellow Animorph.   
Marco and I split up, hoping to cover more ground. As I flew over Cassie's house, I saw her out in her yard, waving at me.   
"We found him!" she shouted as I swooped down towards her.   
Where was he? > I asked as I started to demorph.   
"I think he's still bummed. He was doing everything he could to avoid Jake and Ax."   
"Idiot," I said to myself as I finished demorphing.   
"What?"   
"Nothing. Let's go see what Jake wants."   
Everyone was there. Tobias was perched up in the rafters. I couldn't help but notice that he looked away when I walked in. Ax was there, too, in human morph.   
"What's up?" I asked as I sat down on a bale of hay.   
"Oh, nothing much," Jake said casually. "Except the fact that the Yeerks have been a bit to quiet for comfort."   
"They can never be too quiet for comfort," Marco said.   
I rolled my eyes, "So? What are we supposed to do?"   
I've been spying on Yeerks for awhile, > Tobias said. His voice sounded flat, like he wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying. Alot of them have been going to this abandoned building down town. Not enough so a casual observer would notice, but when keeping track of them, it gets pretty obvious that something is going on there. >   
"Great," Marco said. "So, Fearless Leader, what're we gonna do?"   
"Tobias, why don't you and Rachel go check this out some more together," Jake said, looking at me as if to say he knew we were going to end up together anyway. "The rest of us can watch other Controllers, see if we can learn more."   
"Cool," I said, trying to sound normal. "Let's do it!"   
I morphed back to bald eagle. Tobias and I were going to do some spying before the day was over. Then do some more tomorrow, Saturday.   
Tobias led the way to the building. Before out little chat last night, I would have been annoyed. Sure, he knew the way, but it was another way of him protecting me. Perhaps it was a little bit of that now, but I didn't think of it that way. I mean, I didn't have anymore feelings for him, did I?   
We were silent during the flight out. Normally, we would have talked about something, anything. Maybe how much Jake sounded like Patton. Or maybe guessing when Cassie and Jake would finally go out on a date. They'd kissed back on the Iskoort homeworld (was _that_ ever a surprise!) but hadn't doen anything since, except act all shy and awkward around eachother. Kind of like me and Tobias now.   
Right down there, > Tobias said flatly finally.   
I looked down at the buildings. Oh, yeah, that wouldn't look too obvious. A bunch of people walking into an old building? They're pathetic. >   
You'd be surprised at what people will believe, > he replied darkly.   
We floated around for awhile. Occasionally landing so nobody would notice two large birds hanging around down town.   
After an hour of spying, which provided nothing, we had to leave. I only had half an hour to demorph, and that's about how long it took to get home. Not to mention I needed to get home before Mom freaked and Tobias still needed to hunt his dinner.   
I mumbled my way through dinner. I was a little preoccupied with other things to have a conversation with my family. I suppose Mom figured I was still having boy problems. Mother's rank right up there with boys for being dense, although I think boys are probably denser. At least mother's mean well.   
That night, I only half slept. I was half expecting Tobias to come. I know, it was stupied. I mean, I dumped the guy, why should he show up?   
The next day I was supposed to meet Tobias in his meadow around ten. He wasn't there, so I sat down on a fallen log to wait for him.   
An hour later, he still hadn't shown.   
By noon I was begining to worry. I started walking through the woods. Maybe Ax knew something about where he was.   
"Hey, Ax!" I shouted when I saw him run past.   
Rachel! > he said in surprise.   
"Have you seen Tobias? We were supposed to meet two hours ago to do some more spying on the Yeerks, but he never showed."   
Ax looked away, I...I haven't seen him today. >   
I studied him for a moment, "Why don't I believe you?"   
He looked at me blankly, I do not know. Why don't you? >   
I sighed, "Have you, or have you not, seen Tobias today?"   
I...I saw him early this morning. >   
"Where?"   
He wouldn't tell me where he was going, but he made me promise not to tell you I had seen him. >   
"Me? Or anybody?"   
He was specific. "Don't tell Rachel you've seen me." >   
I nodded. "Okay. Fine. Thanks, Ax. If that weasel...I mean, if Tobias comes back, tell him I was looking for him, okay?"   
I will, Rachel. >   
I walked away furious. How dare Tobias just run out on me like that? Sure, we may not have been on the best terms, but we had to world to save here! We couldn't let petty differences get in our way. If we could, Marco would be long gone.   
I decided to head over to the mall. Nobody was at my house, and even if they were, I wasn't expected home till around 5:30. And very few problems couldn't be solved by shoping the clearence sales.   
As I was walking past the food court, wondering whether or not I should grab a pizza, somebody shouted at me.   
"Hey, Rachel!" I looked around. "Over here!" I looked around and saw Jake and Marco waving at me.   
"Hey, guys," I said casually, pulling a chair up to their table.   
"I thought you and Tobias were out spying on Yeerks," Jake whispered to me.   
"The rat weasled out on me! According to Ax, he flew off this morning, leaving specific instructions that I wasn't to be told he'd gone anywhere."   
Marco looked surprised, but Jake looked like he'd been expecting it.   
"What?" I asked him, stealing one of his nachos. "You expecting something like this?"   
Jake shook his head, "Not really, but I knew something was up with him. He didn't seem too excited to be paired with you for this mission. Something wrong?"   
I shook my head, but he kept looking at me. He hangs out with Cassie too much.   
"Okay, fine. Maybe something is, but I think we can work it out ourselves."   
"You dump him? Or did he dump you?" Marco asked.   
"What makes you thinkg that?" I demanded.   
"You dumped him, didn't?" he asked.   
"If you must know, yes, I did. I suppose you wanna know when and why, too, don't you?" Before they could answer, I stood up. "I'm going home. Talk to you guys later." I stalked out of the mall, empty handed, and went home.   
As I was rounding rounding the corner for my neighborhood, the shaddow of a big bird of prey appeared on the sidewalk in front of me. Hey, Rachel? >   
I didn't even bother looking up. I knew who it was, and I didn't really feel like talking to a rat with feathers and wings right now.   
I suppose you're made at me. >   
_Gee, ya' think?_ I asked myself silently, but didn't acknowledge Tobias. I walked in my house and slammed the door shut. I considered going up to my room, but it'd be too easy for Tobias to talk to me even if I didn't say anything. So I went into the living room, put a video in the VCR. About 15 minutes into the movie,the doorbel rang. Expecting a Girl Scout (our neighborhood is crawling with them, always trying to sell cookies,) I answered the door, and nearly slammed it shut when I saw who was there.   
Tobias. In human morph.   
"What do you want?" I asked through gritted teeth.   
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.   
I glared at him while I considered saying no and slamming the door shut. But, the small part of me that didn't want to rip him limb from limb for being an idiot won out. I let him in.   
"Okay, talk. You'd better have a good reason for bailing on the mission this morning."   
He looked down. "I don't," he said quietly. I could barely understand what he'd said.   
"Excuse me?" I asked.   
"I said, I don't have a good reason," he repeated louder.   
"Then why are you here?"   
"Ax told me you were looking for me."   
"That was before I figured out you were really a rat."   
He looked surprised, then angry. "Listen, Rachel. I needed some time to think, okay? I was still trying to figure out what was going on between us."   
"So that means you can bail out on whatever missions you feel like? Just because you need to think and aren't all that comfortable with the company you'll have to keep?"   
"I didn't mean to skip the mission..."   
"Bull." I barely recognized my own voice. It had an edge to it I never hear come out of me before. I walked to the door and opened it. "Perhaps you'd better leave." Tobias looked like he was going to argue with me, but thought better of it and left silently.   
Once he was gone I went back into the Living Room. I didn't go back to watching the movie, though. Instead, I laid my head in my hands and started to cry.   
The next day I was feeling better than I had since Thursday night. The last few days I kept having second thoughts about dumping Tobias, but after yesterday's performance, I was sure I'd made the right decision.   
Around noon, while I was in my room working on my history project, Jordan started yelling for me. "Rachel! Phone! It's Cassie!"   
I picked up the phone and yelled to Jordan, "Got it!" then to Cassie, "Hey, Cassie. What's up?"   
"Hey, Rachel. You know that report you're doing for science about birds of prey?"   
No, actually I didn't. We were studying atoms and other boring stuff in science right now, but I played along. "Yeah? What about it?"   
"Well, we just got a hawk in at the clinich this morning. A red tailed hawk. I thought you might like to come see it."   
Okay, somehow Tobias had ended up at the clinic. And obviously Cassie was trying to get us to make up. "Thanks for the offer, Cassie, but I'll have to pass. I'm working on my history project right now."   
"But I really think you should come over and see it. Now. I don't know how long it's going to be here."   
I sighed. "Fine. If you really think it'd help, I'll be right over." I hung up and ran out the door, yelling at my mom that I was helping Cassie with her history project.   
"You know, I really don't think I need to see him," I told Cassie as she pulled me into the barn.   
"I think you'll change your mind once you see him," she replied.   
It took a moment for my eyes to adjust from the bright sunlight to the darkness of the barn, but once they did, I found Tobias immediatly.   
He was laying in a cage, a bandage around one talon and splints on both wings. "Oh, my God," I said as I ran to his cage. "Don't tell me he's..." I didn't finish. I guess I never realized how much I really did care for Tobias, untill he was nearly gone.   
"No. Dad just gave him a sedative. He should be coming out of it soon."   
As if on cue, Tobias' eyes fluttered open. His first reaction was hawk. He tried to jump up and fluff up his feathers, but screeched in pain when he tried to move.   
Ow! Man! Oh, that's a major ouchie! >   
"Tobias, what the hell did you do?!" I demanded.   
Um...I...um...don't quite remember. >   
I was just about to yell at him for lying to me again when Cassi stopped me, "He's probably telling the truth, Rachel. I found him this morning when I was out exercising one of the horses. I noticed something in his meadow, galloped over and found him on the ground, nearly dead. Dad's been opperating on him all morning. He took a nasty bump to the head."   
And about every other part of me, > Tobias added unhappily.   
"When will he be outta here?" I asked.   
Cassie shruged, "Absolutely no idea." Tobias groaned. "You guys can stay here and talk. I've still got chores to finish."   
I looked back to Tobias once Cassie had left. "You sure you don't remember what you were doing before you ended up in a body cast?"   
I'm pretty sure red tailed hawks can't look guilty, but Tobias came awfully close. Actuall, I do. I just didn't want to say it in front of Cassie. >   
"Okay, spill it. What were you trying to do?"   
Kill myself, > he said quietly.   
"What?!" I screeched then lowered my voice. "What do you mean, kill yourself?"   
Just what I said. I wasn't thinking straight. I was hurt and confused and didn't know what to do! >   
"Plenty of guys have had relationship problems without resorting to suicide. Look at Marco. He's still here, unfortunatly, and he's been turned down and dumped dozens of times." We were both silent for a moment before I spoke again. "Tobias...I'm as lost and confused as you are. I needed to step back for awhile, figure out where I was. That and I needed to breathe. You were becoming way too overprotective."   
Another moment of silence, then Tobias spoke. I suppose I was getting a bit pushy, wasn't I? > I didn't say anything. Wanna try again? >   
I smiled. "Sure. When you're outta here...wanna go do something? Just go flying, or maybe go out ot eat?"   
It's a date. >   
I smiled again, "I better go now. I'll come back tomorrow."   
See ya', Rachel. >   
"See ya', Tobias."   
Outside the barn I heard snickering and 'aww'ing. I looked to the door, there stood Marco, Jake and Cassie, all smiling.   
"I just love happy endings," Marco smirked.   
  


_Author's Notes: Awww, a happy ending. I'm with Marco on this one, I love 'em. A bit on the sappy side, but oh well._   
_Oh, and this is dedicated to Trisha. Thanks for the idea!_


End file.
